


The Worst Feeling

by Monkan



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Love, Realization of Feelings, angst with a semi-happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 07:24:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6647977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monkan/pseuds/Monkan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the worst feeling ever. Why did he have to realize this feeling?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Just a little something that I thought about as I was reading some things. This one is exclusively posted on AO3, you won't find it on FF.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. The characters belong to MTV. Nor any other names or products that may be mentioned.

The Worst Feeling  
By Monkan

 

~ * ~

 

There was nothing unusual about the week. Or at least it should have been nothing unusual.

Dead people had been found around Beacon Hill and it took another five days until they located and dealt with the monster behind it. They had come out with just a few scratches, a broken nose, which would heal in a few hours, and a new nightmare to haunt them while they slept.

The pack had gone to Derek's place to patch themselves up before they could go home to their families.

Stiles, being the only human in the group had decked as soon as he sat down.

How much later he woke up he had no clue but he felt really comfortable. The blanket which he didn't remember taking was warm and cozy, the street lights just barely peeking in through the windows together with the dimmed light in the apartment felt all too familiar.

He opened his eyes to look at the couch across from him where the Alpha sat with his leg spread out on the firm surface, half slouched with a book in his hand, eyes moving left to right at a steady pace. Relaxed and comfortable.

'I love you.'

The instinct to kiss those slightly parted lips flowed through him like warm water and if he had been closer, maybe even laying on the same couch instead of in the armchair, then he would have done it.

But just as the warm secure feeling was dominating inside him, Stiles also realized just what he was feeling and it almost made him cry.

He was in love with Derek Hale.

It felt right. He didn't feel any insecurity about them being the same gender. Nor did it matter that Derek was a werewolf. An Alpha at that too. None of that mattered.

He was just simply, deeply, truly, in love.

And he knew it would never come true.

Just as perfect as Derek seemed in his eyes, Stiles was all to aware of all his faults and failings.

Someone like Derek would never have any reason to feel like this about him.

He didn't have a chance. It never existed to begin with. Nothing.

It felt strange, how calm he was. When he fell in love with Lydia it had made him even more awkward and fumbling than he already was. She had made him trip over his own feet and mix his words up even though she didn't even knew who he was or that he even existed.

This was different. It didn't feel awkward or sudden. He didn't feel like he would mess up even if he went and kissed the werewolf.

It was all just so familiar and so natural that he could in that moment see himself and Derek many, many, many, many years down the line like this. Even the wrinkles and thin white hair was just natural. Two dogs sleeping on the floor and the wall full of pictures from their life together.

Stiles burrowed himself even deeper down in the warmth.

He had heard Scott talk about being in love with Alison and Kira so many times. He could even put fairy tales to shame without trying. He would say it was the best feeling ever.

This was nothing like that.

Stiles knew that this feeling wouldn't disappear. It might fade as he learned not to think about it. He would learn to live with it.

He would never say anything. He would never voice it.

He would go on act like Derek was his friend, or as much of a friend the werewolf thought them to be. Maybe they would even become a pack in the future. He would watch as lovers came and went for Derek until he found the one who he would form a family with. A lovely woman who would give him at least two kids. Hold him as his sleep was restless from nightmares of his past. Make him breakfast, lunch, dinner. Stand next to Derek in a beautiful white dress as they swore fidelity to each other.

And Stiles would be there. With a goofy face as he stood on the sideline watching everything happen. He would be there to give advice, get smacked on the head for something stupid he said, come running when Derek called. Watch as they kissed, held hands, and shared the intimacy that werewolf's had to their mates. He would stand by the second row in the small audience in a tux as Derek got married. He would be there as Derek became a father, a grandfather, and maybe even a great-grandfather.

And Stiles would stand by their graves, old and wrinkly, as he waited for his days to run out. Maybe he would find a partner that he could have a life. Maybe not. Either way he knew that he would never be able to love his partner this fully like he loved Derek at this moment.

It would never be put into words so that anyone else ever knew about it.

He would go on his life like nothing changed.

In that moment, the same way he felt his love for Derek so clearly, a tiny voice spoke just as clearly in his head.

'This is the worst feeling.'

 

* * *

 

~Derek P.O.V.~

 

Derek sitting over an old book as the pack around him was divided into different tasks that caught their attention. It was the night before the full moon and they tended to be drawn to his loft around this time for some pack interaction as they called it. The sun was coming up as he didn't realize they had spent the entire night awake doing different things.

It was only when he felt someone walk up behind him that he was pulled from the story of the book.

“Time to go to bed, Sourwolf.”

Derek sat up straight and turned around to look at....

It felt like thunder hit him in a big explosion.

While his heartbeat was steady and didn't betray him to the other werewolves, his eyes was drawn to how the light filtered through and highlighted Stiles hair. His features refined and beautiful as he wore casual clothes that was ready fall into bed at any given moment.

'Oh, shit.'

 

The End


End file.
